Ups and Downs

So the last day of March... 

March has been an interesting month.  I was sick and didn't run for a week when I was moping around feeling sorry for myself.  It took me a few days to get my head into the game.  I think sometimes it's good to take a little time off.

I turned 34 yesterday.  (Woo hoo.)  I ran outside without the benefit of anyone running with me to keep me going.  I had a great run!  I didn't believe the pace that my Nike+ came up with (9:16/mi for 6 miles) but after mapping it out, I realized that it was indeed correct!  That was a great birthday gift for me.

After I run this evening, I will have had my 2nd best running month EVER.  It's second only to the month that was right before our 1st half marathon last May.  I ran over 100 miles that month, wow!  I'll pretty sure I'll get close to that mark next month, and I will for sure pass that mark in May and June.  However for now, I'm basking in the happiness of knowing that even with my mid-month meltdown, I still made it to the end of the month and I was awesome!  (If I do say so myself...)

So here's to April.  I'm crossing my fingers that I'll stay injury free, that I'll keep my mental mindset that I'm in now, and that I will feel as good at the end of next month as I feel at the end of this month.

Definitely TMI...

Ok, honestly this is something that I didn't think I'd ever actually discuss with the general public.  But the topic comes up from time to time when I'm talking about running with other people, so I thought I might as well address it.  Well, kind of.  There will be no sharing of my own personal stories.  However, I received this article in my e-mail a few weeks ago and found it highly educational/entertaining (you know, in a very strange sort of way...)

So for those of you who have been wondering, here's everything you've ever wanted to know about Runner's Trots. :)

I Hit a Wall

It all started last Saturday when I wasn't feeling very well and we had a lot of things to get done in a short amount of time.  I only ran 6 of the 9 miles that I was supposed to run.  Then we went on vacation for a few days.  I brought my running stuff with me, but I didn't run because we were in a different place and the "perfect" run that I had envisioned didn't ever work out.

Since then, I feel like I've hit a wall.  I'm not enjoying the set schedule for running.  I look at the schedule and see 18 weeks of runs all put down on paper and it is daunting.  I feel like there are so many things going on and these forced training runs are negatively affecting my psyche. 

On the other hand, I generally really like having a list of tasks that I need to accomplish.  It makes it easy to see where I've been and where I need to be.  Usually, a list is a very helpful tool to keep me on track.

I'm not sure what I need to give me the kick to get moving again.  Time?  Do I just need enough time to go by that I feel guilty for not running and then I start?  Weight?  Do I just gain a few pounds and realize that I can't not run because I absolutely have to run in order to keep my weight in check?  Depression?  Do I get so depressed by not doing physical exercise and getting those natural hormones flowing that I eventually just give in and force myself to run because I just know that I'll feel better (and everyone around me will be happier) after I run? 

I don't know.  But I'll tell you this.  The whole "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" thing is really difficult to do.  Easy to say.  Tough to actually do.

Important Announcement

I interrupt this running blog to make an important announcement...

Happy 7th Birthday to my beautiful, goofy, loveable daughter Katherine!

Thank you for being an inspiration to keep me running.  Your chants of "Go, Mommy, Go!" run through my head whenever I need to push myself to keep going.  You are my best cheerleader and co-cowbell ringer.  I love you!

Who'd Have Thought?

I've always maintained that I don't really like running that much.  I do it because I feel like I have to do something.  And I've made it this far, I figure I should just continue.  I can't give up now.  But having said that, it's not something that I really enjoy all that much.

It's official.  There is something that I guess I dislike more than running.

Work.

I could have stayed at work for an extra 4 hours tonight and spent time with some great co-workers.  But instead, I chose to come home and run 4 miles at 9pm on the treadmill in my cold, dark basement.

Now maybe that doesn't seem all that strange to you.  But it's a bit of a realization for me.  Although, I suppose, there are two ways to look at it.  Either I just don't hate running as much as I think I do, or I really don't love my job. 

Since I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on life, I'll just tell myself that running has moved up from the bottom of my "favorite activities" list.  Here's to another 3 tomorrow!

Giving Up Control

Instead of focusing on all the things I can't control, I am enjoying the moments in front of me. The marathon is going to be an amazing journey and I get the chance to write the ending. 
--Shalene Flanagan, 2nd woman finisher at the 2010 NYC Marathon

I skipped a training run yesterday.

I was gone at a conference all day long.  Then I went for a quick dinner with the family.  Then I took Katherine to swimming lessons.  Then I went to band practice.  I got home just before 10pm but decided to not do my 4 mile training for the day.

I was feeling a bit guilty about it, but I've just been so tired lately that I couldn't do it.  I did 4 miles instead of the prescribed 3 miles for today to make up for it.  But I realized that I need to just learn to let some things go.  There might be days when I can't get my run in.  It doesn't mean that I've fallen off the wagon and my whole goal of running a marathon is over.  It just means that I didn't do a day of running.  

In case you don't know, I really, really like to be in control.  I like to know what's going on.  I like to make plans and stick with them.  I do not easily go with the flow.  (If I do go with the flow but don't really agree with it, it's only because I'm too shy to speak up and make a suggestion about changing the flow.  HA!)  

So when my marathon training guide says, "Run 4 miles on Wednesday, March 2nd," that's what I intend on doing.  I stick with the plan.

*sigh*

But sometimes other things in life get in the way. I cannot control everything, but I can control with I do with the things that get in the way.  My story is written however I let it be written.  So if it takes training for a marathon to help me learn that, well then, I guess it's time well spent.