I Hit a Wall

It all started last Saturday when I wasn't feeling very well and we had a lot of things to get done in a short amount of time.  I only ran 6 of the 9 miles that I was supposed to run.  Then we went on vacation for a few days.  I brought my running stuff with me, but I didn't run because we were in a different place and the "perfect" run that I had envisioned didn't ever work out.

Since then, I feel like I've hit a wall.  I'm not enjoying the set schedule for running.  I look at the schedule and see 18 weeks of runs all put down on paper and it is daunting.  I feel like there are so many things going on and these forced training runs are negatively affecting my psyche. 

On the other hand, I generally really like having a list of tasks that I need to accomplish.  It makes it easy to see where I've been and where I need to be.  Usually, a list is a very helpful tool to keep me on track.

I'm not sure what I need to give me the kick to get moving again.  Time?  Do I just need enough time to go by that I feel guilty for not running and then I start?  Weight?  Do I just gain a few pounds and realize that I can't not run because I absolutely have to run in order to keep my weight in check?  Depression?  Do I get so depressed by not doing physical exercise and getting those natural hormones flowing that I eventually just give in and force myself to run because I just know that I'll feel better (and everyone around me will be happier) after I run? 

I don't know.  But I'll tell you this.  The whole "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" thing is really difficult to do.  Easy to say.  Tough to actually do.