Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Every moment can't be fantastic

I ran today.  It was a beautiful (somewhat windy), sunny day and it felt great to be outside.

It was a huge contrast to the last two runs that I had.

On Thursday, I ran the TC 1 Mile race.  Last year I finished in 7:42 and my goal for this year was to finish in 7:41 or less.  Despite feeling like I was running all-out, I finished at 8:16, more than 30 seconds slower than last year's finish.  It killed me.  Mentally, I think it really broke me.

Saturday's 18 mile run was brutal.  I don't think I felt good until I was done.  I had to make a port-a-potty stop at mile 5.  I had to stop and put band-aids on my feet at mile 6.  I had a little emotional breakdown at mile 12.  I walked entirely too much for all of miles 13-18.  Then again, I finished, so I know I should be happy.  I've mentioned before that I felt like I had a mental block about doing the longer distances.  I could see myself running 15-16 miles, but nothing more than that.  So combine that with my really disappointing 1 Mile time... it was a recipe for disaster.

So where do I go from here?  I'm not sure how it'll go.  But maybe it's a good lesson for me to remember as the marathon gets closer.  I'm going to go through a myriad of emotions during the marathon.  At some moments I'll feel absolutely wonderful and at some moments I'll feel like I can't move another inch forward.  I have to remember that every moment of the marathon will bring something new.

A friend posted this video today (after recently finishing her first marathon!) and it was a good reminder (and also slightly entertaining!) to help me keep in mind that things will not always be pretty, but I can get to the finish line nonetheless.

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